Two Books

By : 
Saleem Muhmmaud

Monday October 15, 2007

Hare Krishna;

I know that this response has been sometime coming things has been kind a tight with me on the financial side. This is first time I have had to have extra envelopes to write you back. I wish to thank you for books.

I am sorry I could not write in time to be a part of (Vyasa Puja), but I am still very eager to write you and bring in contact with what has happened in my life from reading two books you gave me.

My name is Saleem Muhmmad and when I first wrote to this address I was in a mess. Loneliness was slowly killing me. I told myself I would end it all soon. I was searching for a painless way. When I received my first letter from you, my pain was almost unbearable. All I could feel was an emptiness from the loss of my mother/ father and never having any siblings.

Being in and out of group homes and foster homes - I don't even know my real family and I have no foster family. I can't buy the things I need to care for myself and my anxiety level was sky high. I read your first letter and then wrote back in the mean time. Every time I felt lonely I read your letter. Every time I felt down I read your letter. It felt good to be acknowledged. Whenever anxiety would attack me I read your letter. In that way your letter provided me with a weapon to combat the enemy forces attacking my every senses on every level.

How could I know what was in store for me. Though I didn't know it the war had begun. After few more letters I requested Bhagavad Gita and you granted my request. There upon I was given my marching orders to stand up and fight the enemy forces attacking my mind, like Arjuna I was bewildered by my pain. I started chanting every time I felt the missing feeling of the knowledge leaving my body.

Bhagavad Gita is now my everyday blessing. I received this blessing a new each I read any of the pages. In this you saved my life. But much more, on the cover Arjuna is being lead into war by Krishna. Arjuna stands for us. The war is life, Krishna is controlling the horses. The horses are like the mind they must be controlled by someone who can master them, Krishna can do this very nicely. Arjun's pain is for people actually going AGAINST Krishna. They have already lost the war and know it not. They are people number among the many who are under the influence of their imagined world. They are influenced by so much nothingism. They work very hard but are receiving more nothingism! nothigism is a word I made up, this is where I am at with the Bhagavad Gita As It Is. I have not finished reading it for I must go very slowly.

I have read the Science of Self Realization, I understand that I was unconsciousness. There was absence of meaning in my life, emptiness and no worth. Had you not wrote me I would not be here today writing echoes of my thoughts. And you would not be there reading this letter.

You are not alone either. There is a part of me there reading this letter with you......This is what happened to me.

Before I had Srila Prabhupada's books in my life, my life was haunted by my past, the ghost of loneness took control of all my senses, and loneliness haunted all my memories. Once the centre for all my memories had been taken over by loneliness, senseless became my companion.

Srila Prabhupada has put an end to the haunting of this body. He has set my mind free from my companion senseless who had taken up residency in my mind, heart and covering of soul. Srila Prabhupada has put eyes in my head, knowledge in to my mind and given me life. Before coming into contact with Srila Prabhupada I was dead but Srila Prabhupada has given me a life. Srila Prabhupada has given my life a family. The IPM family is much better than my first family I was born with. Through Srila Prabhupada I was reborn into family of devotees. Thank you Srila Prabhupada.

Hare Krishna

Saleem Muhmmaud
Somers, Connecticut